How God chose a mother for a little diabetic
Memories of a Mom – 8.
Our cute little ones become big very quickly but are still Small. You become “smart” very quickly, so you “know” what to eat or drink, how to “do” everything that your friends think is cool. You quickly learn how to cheat your mom or doctor a little, but sugar is a little harder. That stupid sensor is really getting stupider; he must be lying. And more often as you get older. HbA1c is wrong, it certainly shows too much.
Given that I changed my life by 360 degrees, both private and business, in order to be a source of live information about diabetes. The fate wanted me to get a job at the Zagreb Diabetes Society, a more flexible schedule according to the needs of the child. For ten years, I used the right to work part-time due to the care of a child with disabilities (half paid by the employer, half today by CHIF). It took me six months to accept those words with disabilities. With what disabilities? Marko and disabilities? He runs, full of ideas as fast as the wind, always on the “edge of the razor”. It should be said with the difficulty/disability of parents to survive all these combinations in the upbringing of children with diabetes, who are ill and nothing hurts them. They are constantly in possible danger from that disease which is not a disease but a condition, a disease which they do not feel, and which constantly lurks.
I wanted to say that in this job I see, fortunately and unfortunately, different cases, where going to the inevitable check-up by a diabetologist is a real stress, a real nightmare!
I’m not sure “where the stronger wind blows from” – from parents or doctors, but I think not from a child!
I have invested a lot of work and my own time, life energy, knowledge and personal experience to “strengthen” the inactive work of the Club of Parents of Children with Diabetes, to make it easier for all parents to come to terms with a fact that we cannot change. We can change our attitude towards illness, look for bright details, comfort each other when needed. There are optimists and pessimists. There are those of us who more easily accept the state in which we find ourselves. There are parents who, even after four or five years, are constantly crying, for whom life has stopped, as if they can’t move on, they see that everything is going downhill and not forward. It is not good for the child, nor for the family, nor for that parent. It takes a lot of conversation, a lot of examples around you, pointing out to others who manage to live on.
I always remember one little Sandra: she came by chance to the same birthday where my little one, then seven-year-old Marko was, so we met. A cute little girl with black wavy hair who was watching me silently and in amazement. I thought she was shy. She later said to her mother: “Mom, Marko also has diabetes, but Marko’s mom still laughs with us.” I couldn’t believe I could hear well! So did her mom stop laughing? Those sincere childish words had such a shocking effect on Sandra’s mom. Suddenly, she seemed to realise that she was no longer laughing with her own children at all. On the same day, she decided to look for me and come to the Society to meet me, in order to break that endlessly long mourning and worried mood. That again, as before, she happily leads her beautiful family and that little Sandra stops caring for her!!!
We hung out for about ten years, got involved in the work of the Society and helped other children and parents. Today, our children are wonderful young people in college, with countless “done” actions together with other children: from horseback riding, rollerblading, hiking, sugar control measurements to the citizens of our city, merriment in Gardaland, camping young educators for children and other educational gatherings. Life is in front of them. Of course, with their “faithful companion”.
And behind us are hours and hours, days and days, years and years of volunteer work. Who is motivated enough by their child and of course, who is willing to give at least a small part of their precious time to other people. There’s really no end to it, you can always give even more and better! I do not agree at all and my great experience confirms this, that people who have time do volunteer work. Even in practice it is almost the opposite; hard-working and creative people take at least a little time for the common good, and so they are selflessly brought up. But, unfortunately, there are more of them, and I will call them “selfish” people, who think that it is normal to just use the services of other volunteers, more often they need to complain and advise, they just do not want to “roll up their sleeves and pull”.
I organized then, at the time of the activation of the Parents’ Club, a series of excellent psychological workshops and lectures. During my search for lecturers, I was “fortunately” met by a wonderful psychiatrist, Dr. Sanda Franić, and since nothing in life is accidental, she also has a girl, Nuša, who got diabetes when she was two years old. For me then, it was a terrible knowledge. And as “our” Sanda often laughed, and her then 12-year-old Nuša even more often, those years were our main inspirations for a good mood. I will remember for a lifetime a lecture called “How God Chose Mom for a Little Diabetic.” So much balm on our wounded souls. Simply, it is easier to breathe remembering that text, those wonderful words. If you have not yet mastered the initial inevitable question, then you will forever stop wondering why diabetes happened to me and my child? Like, someone else can, but me? Did we cry at that workshop? All the moms a bit, and especially mom Marina whose little beauty Hana is also “too sweet” since her sophomore year. She cried for 5 years until then. And then, many more times after, until she finally accepted that fact. Today, Hana is a wonderful seventeen-year-old.
Unfortunately, more and more children are suffering from type 1 diabetes, both in the world and in our country. But a “lace upon our sleeves” who not only knows because she is a top psychiatrist, but also understands because she is the mother of a child with diabetes, currently lives and works in faraway Norway.
New people need to be sought for inspiration and comfort, and they are so hard to find. Why?
(text taken from ZADI magazine)
HOW GOD CHOSE THE MOTHER OF A LITTLE DIABETIC
Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, some by social pressure, and some couples get children out of habit. Have you ever wondered how the mothers of little diabetics are chosen?
I visualize God flying above the Earth carefully, full of zest. As he observes the people, he gives instructions to his angels:
– Beth Armstrong, son, guardian angel of St. Matthew
– Marjorie Forest, daughter, guardian angel of St. Cecilia
– Carrie Zimmermann, twins, guardian angel of St. Gerard
He finally sees a woman and says, “Give her a child with diabetes!”
“Why?” The angel asked in surprise. “Well, she’s so happy!”
– “Exactly!” God laughed, “So could I give a child with diabetes to a mother who can’t laugh?! That would be cruel. “
“But does she have the patience?” The angel asked.
– “I don’t want him to have too much patience, otherwise he will sink into despair and self-pity. Once the shock and regret are over, she will know how to deal with it. I watched it today. She has a sense of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary to a single mother. You see, the child I will give her has her own world. She will let him live in her world, and that is not easy. “
“But, God, I don’t even think she believes in You.”
God smiled, “It doesn’t matter. I can fix that. This woman is perfect. He has exactly as much selfishness as he needs. “
– The angel wondered: “Selfishness!? Is that a virtue !?”
God nodded, “If she is unable to separate herself from the child, she will not survive. Yes, this is a woman I will bless with imperfection. She doesn’t understand it yet, but others will envy her. I will allow her to see clearly the things I see: Ignorance, cruelty, prejudice. And I will allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be by her side every minute of her day because she will do my job just as if I were with her all the time. “
“And who will be her guardian angel?” The angel asked.
God smiled, “A mirror will be enough for her.”
Other texts from this series can be found here