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December 2, 2020 / Uncategorized


16 min read

Memories of a Mom – 4.

We finally came home to Zagreb.

That night, around 4 o’clock  Marko vomited for the first time, then around 7 for the second time.  Dad went to work early in the morning and the three of us sat around Marko and tried to cheer him up.  He vomited again even though there was  nothing left.  Thirsty and thirsty, he would swallow some water and vomit immediately, then again just continue sleeping sitting up.

I thought to myself  “Maybe it’s some kind of salmonella from the ice cream we ate on the way home.  An unavoidable ritual in the same patisserie for years on the way to and from the cottage.  But than – we all ate ice cream and no one got sick, why him?  There is no fever, only nausea bothers him.  And somehow it seems to me that apparently it is getting thinner and paler?”

I am not letting him out of my lap and he just squints, dozes off, complains of nausea.

Finally, we get dressed and drive to the Infectious Diseases Hospital.  It’s Sunday, it’s closest to us and it seems most logical to me in case he caught something contagious.  They took Marko’s blood for control, but they didn’t control his sugar.  Not yet then.

We’ve been waiting for a long time, an hour, two, three.  Staff is on vacation, there are only few people on Sunday mornings.  Marko was thirsty. Then he took only a sip of water and immediately throws up everything .  One mother is sitting in the next waiting room with the baby  in her arms and Marko says: “Blessed is this baby ’cause mom is holding her in her arms.”

” Oh, my little one, you are not a baby, but there is no one in our hallway, no one is watching you, I can hold you like a baby –  come!” He curled up in my lap and fell asleep.  I hear him breathing calmly. My whole arm is numb. I didn’t move to wake him.  Something is wrong here, he is not like my Marko. So calm and pale he has dark circles under his eyes.  That child has never been sick, not even the usual childhood viruses and streptococcal infections, which are collected in kindergarten, I can hardly remember.  What’s going on?

Finally, after 4 hours the doctor called us and immediately asked from the door: “Madam, do you remember when the little one vomited?  His electrolytes are zero.  He has to stay in the ward to receive the infusion urgently! ”He vomits since 4 o’clock tonight but the doctor doesn’t believe me.

We went straight to the ward I shower Marko and put him in his pajamas.  They immediately put him to bed and took blood for more analysis, and attached him to a glucose infusion.  He lies so sleepy and exhausted.  Only the eyes look questioningly and in fear.  I’m pretending that his sister Martina was lying there once, that he will sleep a bit now and we will go home later.  He closed his eyes calmly, he didn’t say a word, he was so exhausted.

A nurse gives me a list of things I need to bring from home because he will definitely stay until tomorrow.  In the meantime, Dad came from work to the hospital and we went home to get those things while Marko was sleeping.

I was at home packing things, a box of Lego bricks and his favorite book, when the phone rings.  I answered and the voice says: “Madam, this is Dr. S., we saw each other a little while ago in the hospital. Are you alone and please sit down.  Listen to me slowly. ”- I thought my heart would jump out, I say that I am not alone and what in God’s name is wrong with a child?

“The child has very high blood sugar and we have already transferred him to Rebro by ambulance because we do not have a children’s diabetes department.  Please drive slowly and go to Rebro immediately so that the child is not scared since we  have sent him without mom and dad.  Please drive slowly so that something doesn’t happen to you. I know you are upset.  We already had such a case.  Your child has already been put on insulin therapy and will be fine by the time you arrive.  We handed him over to Dr. XY, the ground floor clinic.  Just say we’re sending you.  You will have to give them a lot of family history data, blah, blah. Hello ma’am?”


“Hello ma’am, can you hear me, are you okay?”  Who is next to you?”


I was completely speechless.  I had a feeling that a big hole was forming in my chest into which the dice were just falling apart.  Confusion in the head.  What is he talking about?  The rattling of the dice.  Dark.  The saving question flashes to me: “Can a child have diabetes at all?”

“Yes, ma’am, yes.  And diabetes can be in both children and adults!  But don’t be upset so that you don’t get sick.  Now your child really needs you.  Everything will be fine.  Your son is already in the right hands and they will tell you everything.  Everything will be fine.  The child will not die from it. “

Die?!  Die?!  He won’t die?!  So what does that say?!  Why would he die?!  He is an extremely healthy and happy child.  The other day he was chasing the ball.  What dying?!  Okay who’s crazy here?!  Or do I dream it all?!  Wake up!  It’s not true!  Impossible!

“Hello ma’am, did you understand me?”  Everything will be fine.  Just go to Rebro with someone and you will see that the child is well. “

“Thank you, doctor, thank you.” I moaned.

Other texts from this series can be found here

Ivana Kukec Read more posts by this author
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